Friday, May 25, 2007
im nt feeling well.. tink my gastric illness is comin bak..
but whu will believe? i tink nt more den 1 person will..
mr ong called my hse.. cos my hp low batt.. i didnt notice.. he called my hse to find mi.. but he was kind enough to find mi 1st.. nt str away find my parents..
i missed 2 of his lessons tis wk.. cos i am sick..
he talked to my mom.. and said he wld issue warning letter to me..
yup.. yu liao zhi zhong de shi.. i noe someting bad wld happened..
i juz feel sick.. but nobody understand..
even mi myself oso dun believe myself..
dun say abt my classmates.. they always say i dun come for class..
my so called teacher.. i dun even tink tt they wld care abt whether i m real sick anot..
some of my frens.. i oso dun trust tt they realli believe..
sometimes yc oso ask.. gt so uncomfortable ah?
ya.. onli mi myself noe.. whu will noe leh? nobody..
nobody will care.. nvm.. im used to it..
im tinkin of defering my sem. ..
im tinking of quiting sch..
im tink of repeating next sem. ..
im tinking od dying.. tis world is too tough fr mi.. or mayb im too weak to live in tis world..
such useless person.. lousy attitude.. lousy in studies.. lousy in r/s.. lousy in everyting..
acutalli i dun believe thr is any true frenship or true r/s exist..
all r fake de.. all r acting infront of mi..
such a waste of my time.. feeling bad.. feeling sad.. for wad?
care for wad? mind for wad? y m i doin such stupid tings?
sld i b fake too? to pei he them?
mayb i sld try to.. to stop myself for being hurt by others..
or mayb i sld learn to hack care everyting.. to stop myself frm getting hurt..
i juz hate everyone ard mi.. i hate everyting ard mi..
真的。。我不相信你们真的打从心底为我好。。
我是你们的好朋友吗？我是你最爱的人吗？
我对你们失去了信心。。请别在伤害我了。。
YYY
*nobody deserves``
1:27 PM
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
我快崩溃了。。
我快没了呼吸。。
我没了自我。。我没了希望。。我没有信心。。
没人安慰。。没人理解。。没人明白。。
我失去了方向。。我被抛到远方。。
我被遗弃了！
没人可怜的杂物。。
没人疼爱的野猫。。
没人留意的野狗。。
我好想蹬往极乐世界。。
我要消失。。
YYY
*nobody deserves``
9:44 PM
Sunday, May 06, 2007
一个人。。坐着公车。。
说了分手。。他接受了。。
忍住泪。。好痛苦。。好痛苦。。
他不知道。。他不明白。。
我的心。。好痛啊。。
真的好痛。。快步能呼吸了。。
顿时。。我没了知觉。。
我的脑袋里。。只有难过。。悲伤。。
回想我们的过去。。
那么久的感情。。却那么经不起考验。。
后来。。他说。。他像挽回。。
他后悔了。。
我该接受吗？我该高兴吗？
我不知道。。感到恍惚。。
觉得我们的感情。。淡化了。。
我不明白。。为什么要这样。。
明知会后悔。。为什么还要接受。。
我会喜欢后悔。。我讨厌后悔！
我好想他。。我希望能现在就见到他。。
但他。。不只在干什么。。
在睡了吧？
我睡不着。。真得睡不着。。
好累了。。但却很精神。。
心好闷。。
YYY
*nobody deserves``
11:16 AM
went to pasir ris to see him perform today..meet him after his performance.. yea.. everyting seems fine..
someting tt caused a quarreling and e whole day was lyk hell..
and den.. and den.. i asked for a "break up"..
he accepted.. and.. hais.. but ended up.. he wana to withdraw e acceptance..
nw.. i tink we r bak o normal.. but e feeling change.. i duno y..
i juz feel so terrible.. he said he wld call me..
n yes he did.. but i was bathing.. 3 miss call..
i called him bak after tis.. he din ans.. i msg him.. he din reply..
mayb he fallen aslp le.. but so fast? hais.. i dunoe..
hope everyting will b fine tml..
i dunoe wad will happened if we realli broke up..
can i be single again? =(
YYY
*nobody deserves``
9:55 AM
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
如果可以变坚强。。
我希望我可以一个人。。
我希望我是个冷血的人。。
没有情感。。没有失望与伤心。。
什么都没有。。我什么都不想要。。
朋友。。爱情。。都是不会长久的。。
我要解脱。。
YYY
*nobody deserves``
11:58 AM